Exodus 17:1-7
Guess what. The Israelites are complaining. Again.
They are thirsty. Again.
In today’s Exodus reading, the Israelites are still whining and complaining. As incessant as their complaining is, I wonder if we can’t identify with them just a bit. They are struggling in the wilderness… They find themselves in a place they hoped would be fabulous, but it has some significant drawbacks. They got what they wished for in life—freedom. So why don’t their lives feel perfect?
In today’s story they rail against Moses. Again.
But they also ask: "Is the Lord among us or not?" They question and doubt the presence of God with them.
Evidently, the Archbishop of Canterbury is not the first person to experience doubt about the presence of God with him!
The Archbishop has been in the news the last few weeks. At an event at Bristol Cathedral he said that there were times in his prayers when he wondered if God was really present. The story hasn’t made the evening news around here. But in some places there have been ripples. Ripples and reaction.
This week there was an op-ed piece in the New York Times by Australian journalist Julia Baird.
I haven’t read any of the reaction to the Archbishop’s comments first hand, so I’ll share Baird’s summary:
When the Most Rev. Justin Welby, the archbishop of Canterbury, said recently that at times he questioned if God was really there, much of the reaction was predictably juvenile: Even God’s earthly emissary isn’t sure if the whole thing is made up!
The International Business Times called it “the doubt of the century.” Archbishop Welby’s admission had not just “raised a few eyebrows,” it declared, but “sparked concerns if the leader of the Church of England would one day renounce Christianity or spirituality as a whole.” Another journalist wrote excitedly, “Atheism is on the rise and it appears as though even those at the top of the church are beginning to have doubts.”
The London-based Muslim scholar Mufti Abdur-Rahman went straight to Twitter: “I cannot believe this.” The Australian atheist columnist Peter FitzSimons tweeted, “VICTORY!”
It’s too bad that Archbishop Welby’s comments have become ammunition in perceived—or created—battles between atheists and people of faith. It’s too bad that his words are being used as ammunition in perceived or created battles within the faith community between the pro-doubt people and the anti-doubt pro-certainty people.
His words are worth more thoughtful reflection. For me, they are a very helpful reminder that doubt is common. Within the individual, even a faithful individual, doubt is common. Often, as the Archbishop suggests, doubt arises when God isn’t fixing what we think God should fix. When God isn’t living up to our expectations. Doubt is common. And it’s not the end of the world… It’s not the end of the world. It’s not the end of Christendom. It’s not even anywhere near the end of an individual’s life of faith.
The Holy Scriptures are full of stories of people who doubted. There are, of course, God’s chosen people, the Israelites. Not only in the passage we heard today, but virtually every time things were difficult. Is the Lord among us, or not?
Archbishop Welby cites the psalmist’s words in Psalm 88: “Why, Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?” Not an uncommon sentiment in the psalms. Maybe that’s one reason they are so popular.
Then there’s Psalm 22: Which Jesus quotes from the cross. Jesus’ own words… “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”
There are others in Scripture. Thomas, of course. Doubting Thomas. The man who, standing right before Jesus, cried out: O Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief. And Jesus’ own disciples. Sometimes it’s hard to know if they were doubting or just dimwitted, but it comes to the same thing. They shared their lives with him, but did not know who he was.
Beyond Scripture others who are known as absolute pillars of faith have expressed their doubts: John Calvin, C. S. Lewis, Flannery O’Connor, Paul Tillich, Mother Theresa. Yes, Mother Theresa. Remember when her diaries were made public? The Archbishop is in some pretty good company.
In the context of this discussion several people have noted that doubt can actually be very helpful to faith. Doubt is not the enemy of faith. The questions that doubt asks can deepen our faith, lead us to understand God in new ways. Doubt’s yearning can urge us to look for God in new places beyond where we expect God to be or have found God in the past. Doubt encourages humility before God’s transcendence. I do not know all there is to know about God. I cannot fully understand God’s ways. Yearning, a deepening of faith, humility… are all fruits of doubt.
Ultimately, there are two things I want to say about doubt.
1) It’s common! Don’t worry too much about your doubts. If and when you have doubts about God’s existence or presence with you, don’t worry about it. You’re not the first to doubt! And God is a whole lot bigger than your personal doubts! Lots of faithful people have doubts. Some doubts are big, some small, some are fleeting, some never go away. Lots of faithful people have doubts. So don’t be a spiritual hypochondriac. Don’t be a hypochondriac about your faith! Don’t make more of your doubts than they are worth. Don’t imagine that your doubt disproves the existence of God! And, more importantly, and this is my second point, do not let your doubts keep you from the life of faith.
2) Persist in the life of faith.
Julia Baird shares words and ideas that others have also articulated. Faith is not only about belief. That’s where we get muddled. Faith is not maybe even primarily about belief. Faith is a commitment, a practice, an act of will to live a certain way. Faith is the decision to make these practices a part of your life: Personal prayer and corporate worship, Christian fellowship and outreach to those in need. These are the practices of faith.
Expanding upon what Baird writes: Just as courage is not the absence of fear, but persisting in the face of fear, so faith is not the absence of doubt but persisting in the presence of doubt.
But why bother persisting in the practices of a faithful life in times of doubt? I can think of three reasons.
- It’s a pretty good ethical structure for living. I suppose this is the least compelling reason for me, but it’s still a good one. Whether or not you believe in Jesus’ authority as God’s Son, the instruction to love your neighbor as yourself, and all of the guidance of our baptismal covenant, are pretty much the best ethical construct for living out there.
- It just might all be true. It just might all be true. Even in times of uncertainty and doubt, there is the possibility, the plausibility, that it just might all be true. The peace which passes all human understanding, the wonder and holiness beyond human creating that fills the world of God’s creation, the fullness of life that spills over even beyond the grave. It just might all be true. And the practices of the faithful life are the road to that truth.
- The journey itself is transforming. If we live faithfully, God transforms us in spite of ourselves. In spite of our doubts. That is my experience. And it is the experience of faithful people from the early Israelites to the current Archbishop of Canterbury.
In spite of ourselves. In spite of our doubts and uncertainties if we commit ourselves to the practices of faith, God will transform us. Prayer and participation in corporate worship. Christian fellowship. Compassion and outreach for those in need. The journey, these actions of faithful living, are transformative. Whether we are doubting or not. God works in us in spite of ourselves.
Like the early Israelites, we may find ourselves in the wilderness. Facing challenges, especially to our faith. But God was with them. Looking back, they knew that without a doubt. Even in the midst of their complaining, their challenging, their doubt, God was with them and working in them. Their faithful journey in the wilderness transformed them into the People of God and led them to the Promised Land.
